Love and Resilience
Elephants have much to teach us about good parenting, effective leadership and how to get along in the world.
I watched with amusement as a young bull calf loitered behind the main group sniffing interesting smells in the bushes, waving his trunk at passing birds and generally behaving like any distracted young boy out for a walk in the park with his family. He was having a grand time. Suddenly he realized he was alone on one side of the road and his family was disappearing into the bushes on the other side. He trumpeted an anxious shriek. Translation: Mommy! Where are you?
Mommy! where are you?
In seconds the calf was sandwiched between two nannies who stroked his body with their trunks.
Elephants make excellent nannies.
Mom identified herself in the retreating herd with a loud rumble “I’m here!” She quickly retraced her steps to join the protective circle around her baby. Here’s a short clip of Mama' coming to the rescue. The calf reached up to touch her mouth for a reassuring kiss and comfort.
I love you Mama
Mama reached out her trunk acknowledging the nannies and tucked her baby behind her large flank. Then she turned to face us, raised her head and spread her ears wide. Her message was clear: Stay away from my baby or else! I imagine her rumbles may have also included a message to her calf to “keep up with the family and don’t dawdle”.
Don’t mess with Mama
Surrounded by protective females, the calf was escorted across the road. Safely on the other side, his anxiety alleviated, he mirrored his mother’s threat back at us from the security of the bushes before scooting on to the join the herd.
Look how brave I am!
Exploration and play are important developmental skills in both elephant and human childhood. Developmental psychology has proven that a “secure attachment”, defined as a safe and healthy bond between a parent (typically the mother) and child, is the best predictor of resilience later in life.
A youngster with a secure attachment knows there is a reliable base for exploration and support during feelings of distress. They grow up confident they can safely express their emotions and rely on others for support. They typically have a positive sense of self, empathy for others, and respect boundaries without possessiveness or neediness.
Individuals with a secure attachment handle conflict and seek mutual understanding. They are not bullies. And, when the going gets tough, individuals with a secure attachment background are better equipped to manage stress and find support. This carries over into the next generation, fostering on-going stable and caring relationships.
Nature has all the lessons we need for learning how to live peacefully and sustainably in the world. There is enough for everyone when we take care of one another with kindness, love and attention.
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